The Plan.

So I've kind of mapped out my life for the next 5 years, after that I have absolutely no idea what will happen so I'm trying not to think too much about that.

2011-spend a year abroad in america to attend high school & become more confident and mature

2012- return to Australia to commence my bachelor of business at the nearby university, spend time with family, get a part-time job and raise a guide dog pup.

2013-go on a university exchange for the year to the University of Missouri-Columbia and live in the university dorms and hopefully join a sorority

2014- Back again to Australia to find another part-time job and complete my final year of university and do work experience

2015- take part in one of the Disney International Programs in the US and take a course in human resources, experiential learning and/or organizational leadership (more on this in a future post...)

That way I get to spend lots of time in America so I can fulfill my desire to live the American Dream as much as humanly possible but still keep things going in Australia.

As I was filling out my US visa application today I was reading the conditions on one of the forms which I have to sign to say I agree to and came across the point "TWO YEAR HOME COUNTRY PHYSICAL PRESENCE REQUIREMENT". At first I was a having a major freak-out because I thought it meant that after my high school exchange I had to stay in Australia for two years which would have completely abolished my dreams of completing part of my university degree over in the states. However, I started to calm down when I read the fine print underneath:

"Exchange visitors whose programs are financed in whole or in part, directly or indirectly by either their government or by the U.S. Government, are required to reside in their home-country for 2 years following the completion of their program..."

Which means it won't apply to me as I've paid for this exchange trip so I'll be able to go on the university exchange. The only problem is that the university exchange is going to cost around $20,000 and I highly doubt I'll be earning enough in my part time job to cover that so I was planning on getting a government loan for it which would pay for half of the trip(so $10,000) but I think you can now guess my dilemma; if the same visa condition still applies I may not be able to participate in the Disney International Program which I desperately wanted to do. My university does do partial scholarships of $2500 for the exchanges but that is only going to be marginally helpful. I really hope this doesn't put a spanner in the works for my 5-year life plan.

My mum did buy her first lotto ticket today so maybe if the cards are in my favour she'll win enough money so that I won't have to rely on the government assistance for the university exchange. *Fingers crossed*

When one door closes another one opens.

So I am finally free of the grasp of the Australian school system, exams, homework, terrible teachers, repulsive canteen food and people I'm sick of seeing each day. It was such a stifling environment, I don't feel at all prepared for the real world. Highschool in Australia has made me more reclusive if anything and I've felt the most antisocial I've ever been during this past year.

I don't even know what to do with myself now, I don't think it's really set in that I will never have to step foot in that school again. I do have my school graduation on the 29th though but I can cope with that, I'm looking forward to it- an excuse to wear my heels from the school ball again.

Originally the plan would have been for me to chill for the next couple of months until I started up university at the campus five minutes away, probably with most of the same people I've shared these high school years with. It would be something new and out of my comfort zone but I don't think I'd be able to take full advantage of it when I'm my same reserved self in the company of the same high school peers who expect me to stay that way. Deep down I know I'm more outgoing it's just that I've got stuck in a rut. Not only that but I'm afraid of getting older- I'm afraid I haven't made the most of my time and think people will expect more of me as I age although I don't feel any different. I can honestly see myself spiraling into a meltdown or some form of depression/anxiety.

I just couldn't let that happen. I knew I needed more time to prepare for university but staying in Australia wasn't going to help so I decided to take a high school exchange year abroad to the United States of America! I'll be doing an extra year of high school but as we finish school the year we turn 17 here in Western Australia I should be roughly the same age as all the American teens. Plus I'll be with a new year group at university so once again I can start afresh and make new friendship groups. In America I'll be able to start over, create a fresh new me and the wonderful thing is that no-one will know about my previous self in Australia. I'm going to introduce myself to everyone as Shivi(my real name is Siobhan) to reflect the new identity I'll be creating for myself. As long as I'm confident, cheery and chirpy on the first day I'll have no problem- I just need my first impression on people to be a good one and then people will just expect it of me.

There's a lot I'll share with you all about the exchange program but I'll leave that for another day.